Being Married to a Soldier.

When you marry someone that’s in the military, you marry the job. Any military wife can tell you that. You have different type times of wives for this. You have the wives who try to know everything they can about their job, wives who were previously in the military, wives who have only the minimum to do with their husband’s jobs, and then the wives who pretend to know everything but really don’t.

I, myself, is the wife who tries her best to know my husband’s job because I don’t want to be clueless about what he tells me. It helps that my neighbor is the wife that was previously was military. So it’s easier for me to figure it out.

There are pros to being married to someone in the military; you have housing taken care of, medical benefits, etc. But unless your married to a soldier and truly love them, you don’t know the emotional pros. The pride you get when someone shakes their hand and thanks them for their service, when they get an award, and just knowing that they are trying to do their best for our country. You have your heart swell knowing that they would take a bullet for a stranger which means they would do anything for you. However, it’s not the romanticize story people seem to think it is..

There are cons; the worry for some people that their love ones will be deployed and hurt or killed out there. The men and women of Fort Irwin go out in the field for training for two weeks. Their SO worry about them because it’s just as dangerous. There have been times where my husband was almost killed. Some people have lost limbs. The thing is, I get told not to worry about my husband because he’s not deployed and he’ll be home at some point. That may not be true. The wives of these soldiers in Fort Irwin usually understand. Fort Irwin has one of the highest divorce rates as well. Being married to someone in the military isn’t always hard no matter where you are. You just love them and stand by their side anyways.

It’s an amazing feeling to know you married a hero, but at the same time, it’s very emotionally straining. You have the worry about their jobs, people who spread hate on them, and even people who are trying to get with your SO. Marriage is not easy. No marriage is. Some marriages have harder roads to go on. The only way a marriage can last is to stay strong through it all. Stand by your Solider, Sailor, Marine, or Airman no matter what.

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Douchebags In the Military.

I’m so embarrassed….. Last week I posted Part two to the wrong blog!!!! Talk about a facepalm….. If you missed it, I reblogged it from my other blog which is a fitness blog. I’m so sorry.

This week I want to put some focus on our country’s heroes…….. Well some of them. We all know someone like this: Cute, has someone, but uses the military as excuses to either cheat or avoid their SO. They may even have an ego the size of Texas. These are the people who you wonder how someone could stay with them. These are the Douchebags of the Military. These are the people who you know they are doing things like I’ve explained before but you won’t say anything because; well who really wants to be that jerk? The messenger will always be shot.

These people make me very frustrated. I’m very against cheating. Not because I’m a Christian but because cheating is a very crappy thing to do to someone…. Some people say that “Well if you aren’t happy then leave” but the problem isn’t that they are unhappy. I’ve seen many people be with someone to use them for whatever reason in civilian life and in the military life. It’s just horrible. Then I either watch or I hear that some of the people in the military will use their job to avoid their girlfriends or to not go home to their wives.

These people will use their training as an excuse or take on extra “chores” or whatever to why they can’t see you. Sometimes it’s not even true what they say they are doing. Some of these SO’s will find out about these douchebags’ lies and go so far into denial. I’ve seen that happen as well. It’s so sad. I have a hard time telling my friends’ to grow a pair when they need it that I can’t imagine being unfaithful to someone I claim to love.

Now, I’m not trying to install fear into you faithful SO’s of military personnel. If your SO is saying the military is preventing them from seeing you or from coming home, it’s probably true because the military enjoys making people miserable. The military can easily take them away. I know my husband will call me and tell me he has to go out in the field after being told hours before he’s staying in town….. How do I know my husband isn’t one of these guys?? Well he can’t lie to me. He just can’t, his facial expressions give him away. Also I trust him and his morals. He’s just like me, he’s very against cheating. He also helps me see he isn’t being unfaithful or avoiding me because he calls or texts me every chance he gets and comes home at any moment he can.

So just because your SO says the military is keeping them, doesn’t mean they are lying. If you trust your love then keep on trusting them until they give you a solid reason not to trust them.

As for the people who use their job to cheat or avoid their SO:

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Dependapotamus. Part one.

Everyone in the military has heard of the not so rare, Dependapotamus. For those who don’t know what a Dependapotamus, it’s a stereotypical military wife. As Urban Dictionary defines it: “Traditionally a servicemember’s dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn’t do a d*mn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to Jabba the Hutt, leaching off of military benefits, and eating anything that gets too close”

Now not everyone military wife is a Dependapotamus, but I can assure you, you know at least one! These are the women who give the military wives who are truly there to support and love their husbands a bad name. Something I’ve experienced since being married to a soldier is that people who don’t know me assume I’m cheating on my husband, they assume that all I do is sit on my ass, letting my house get dirty, and do nothing for my husband… That’s people who don’t know me. I know I’m not the only wife that gets these assumptions.

I asked my husband to ask his fellow brothers what they thought when they heard “Dependapotamus”. Here is are the answers I got:
“An army spouse that does nothing but depend on his/hers SO paycheck”
“Big, Lazy wives, don’t do anything, chill out at starbucks, nothing but walking babies in carriage” “Groteeskely obese women, doesn’t do sh*t, drools in their sleep, gross, discusting, lazy”
“Fat b*tch who keeps getting pregnant, army spouse that keeps having babies to keep her SO and their paychecks”
“Fat, Lazy spouse that does nothing but steal her SO money, max out credit cards, doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, lives off just on a army paycheck, and would probably leave their SO if they leave the military”
“A woman who cheats on her husband, is overweight, does nothing at home, lives only off her husband’s paycheck, and would leave him if he leaves the military.”

There are so many women that actually do things like stated before and it’s truly sad for the women who married their husbands out of love, who try to have a job, who tries to stay in shape, and who actually takes care of their home and their families. I really want to change how military wives are viewed but it will be hard knowing that there are women who fit the “dependapotamus” description.

I will continue my thoughts on Dependapotamus next Wednesday because there is still so much I have to say on it. I rather not continue because I know I would make this too long to read. Until then, think of this; If you are a military wife, what do you do to help change the view of a military wife?

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Fort Irwin Army Wife.

I married a soldier on 7 March 2013. What they don’t tell you when you marry into the military is you marry the job as well. For the first two and half months of my marriage I was apart from my love because I had to finish high school. (Please don’t focus on that part of this story though.)

In May is when I was able to join my love in Fort Irwin, CA. I was warned about this place. I was told it had one of the highest divorce rates. I was spending most of my first and hardest years of marriage in a place that tore them down. That terrified me.

Well I’m past the one year mark now and I’m more in love with my husband now than I was when we first got married. We are surviving Fort Irwin. My husband along with many other soldiers leave for two weeks every month for training. Sometimes we get lucky and they are only out there for a short time and the work days are just longer instead. Other times, I won’t get to see my love except for a few hours out of that whole time.

The reason I’m have started this blog is because I have a lot of friends who ask me how I do it and other friends who think I should quit my whining because my husband isn’t deployed. This whole thing is an “experiences may vary”. What I go through is what I go through. I don’t feel it’s fair to undermine what I experience just because it’s different from you. So this is to help people understand how I deal with my husband being gone even if it’s for a short time for you.

Some things to know before I go; I have depression, severe anxiety, and I’m a very sensitive person. After a certain amount of time I get anxiety attacks when my husband is gone. It used to be worst and I’ve been working on it a lot. So my husband being gone may affect me differently than you.

Again these are my experiences and may differ from yours. I will start posting these every Wednesday from now on. I hope you enjoy.

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