I thought I’d take a break from Military life and talk about Marriage. I told a bit about my marriage in the very first post of this blog. I’m going to elaborate on it in this blog;
I got married when I was 17 and a senior in high school. I had only dated my husband about three months before we got married. We didn’t have a formal engagement because we were planning on getting married in August after I turned 18. In fact my husband was planning on proposing in person the weekend we got married, but instead we got married. I’ve known my husband since I was a sophomore and we had dated a few times. Before we got married I made him wait a month before saying yes to dating because of the issues in my life I was having. We got married on March 7th, 2013 with my parents signing off on it.
Our first year of marriage was hard. I didn’t know how to handle my depression and anxiety, my husband didn’t know how to communicate and express himself. I would start having anxiety attacks after three days of being alone, so that put a lot of stress on my love. It didn’t help that I had the implanon and that had me always grumpy and moody. My husband had only known the me that was on the implanon. We also had to learn that friendships and exes were not worth are marriage.
As the year progress, my husband started to learn that he needed to talk to me and couldn’t just pretend nothing was wrong. I had to learn to give him time to talk. I started to handle my anxiety and depression with the help of my love and our pup. I even had the implanon removed which, according to my husband, I became more cheery and I know I felt happier.
A lot of people think marriage is just a piece of paper. People stop trying to fight for the person they marry and they marry for the wrong reasons. The first year of marriage is very hard. You have to learn to communicate, what the person’s love language is, and how to stand by them even when you disagree. People tend to think their SO are not trying when it’s possible that the people is trying but isn’t trying to what your love language is. People give up too fast. One of the things my husband and I agreed on before we married is that, if we did this, we were stuck together till death do us part. That means NO divorce. Honestly I don’t think my husband and I would have made it as far if we didn’t agree on that. We had to fight to be happy and to grow together instead of just going of straight to divorce.
Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. It’s the promise to commit to one another for life. You are committing your life to stand by one another no matter what. People get into marriage for all the wrong reasons like; You have a child together, you’ve been together so long it just seems like the right thing to do, you marry for the financial support, you get married just because. Marriage needs to be between two people who love one another like no other, who are ready to spend their lives together, and won’t stop dating or fighting to be with the one they love even after marriage. You need to be married to your best and sometimes only friend. You need to put your love one over anyone else (Except your children) and no one, no friendship, is worth hurting your marriage.
In my marriage now, my husband and I are very happy. We still have some arguments here and there but we know how to handle them now. We do what we can to bring one another up and help one another in any thing that hurts us. We are growing together and I see us having a long happy life together.
If you are thinking of getting married, make sure it’s for the right reasons and that you can see yourself spending your life together. If you are married, then please keep fighting for your marriage. Try to go on dates even if it’s just a family walk. Remember, you may not thinking your SO is trying but they may be trying the best way they know. Communication is key, if your SO is like how my husband was and do no talk when a problem comes up but instead just tries to avoid, that usually means they don’t know how to talk about it. Some people are not good with communication or they just don’t want to make things worst.
Now if your marriage is beyond saving, then I hope that you both end up happy and end on good terms.
Remember, cheating is not okay and abuse is not okay. (Abuse can be sexual, physical, economical, or emotional)