Dependapotamus. Part one.

Everyone in the military has heard of the not so rare, Dependapotamus. For those who don’t know what a Dependapotamus, it’s a stereotypical military wife. As Urban Dictionary defines it: “Traditionally a servicemember’s dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn’t do a d*mn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to Jabba the Hutt, leaching off of military benefits, and eating anything that gets too close”

Now not everyone military wife is a Dependapotamus, but I can assure you, you know at least one! These are the women who give the military wives who are truly there to support and love their husbands a bad name. Something I’ve experienced since being married to a soldier is that people who don’t know me assume I’m cheating on my husband, they assume that all I do is sit on my ass, letting my house get dirty, and do nothing for my husband… That’s people who don’t know me. I know I’m not the only wife that gets these assumptions.

I asked my husband to ask his fellow brothers what they thought when they heard “Dependapotamus”. Here is are the answers I got:
“An army spouse that does nothing but depend on his/hers SO paycheck”
“Big, Lazy wives, don’t do anything, chill out at starbucks, nothing but walking babies in carriage” “Groteeskely obese women, doesn’t do sh*t, drools in their sleep, gross, discusting, lazy”
“Fat b*tch who keeps getting pregnant, army spouse that keeps having babies to keep her SO and their paychecks”
“Fat, Lazy spouse that does nothing but steal her SO money, max out credit cards, doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, lives off just on a army paycheck, and would probably leave their SO if they leave the military”
“A woman who cheats on her husband, is overweight, does nothing at home, lives only off her husband’s paycheck, and would leave him if he leaves the military.”

There are so many women that actually do things like stated before and it’s truly sad for the women who married their husbands out of love, who try to have a job, who tries to stay in shape, and who actually takes care of their home and their families. I really want to change how military wives are viewed but it will be hard knowing that there are women who fit the “dependapotamus” description.

I will continue my thoughts on Dependapotamus next Wednesday because there is still so much I have to say on it. I rather not continue because I know I would make this too long to read. Until then, think of this; If you are a military wife, what do you do to help change the view of a military wife?



Fort Irwin Army Wife.

I married a soldier on 7 March 2013. What they don’t tell you when you marry into the military is you marry the job as well. For the first two and half months of my marriage I was apart from my love because I had to finish high school. (Please don’t focus on that part of this story though.)

In May is when I was able to join my love in Fort Irwin, CA. I was warned about this place. I was told it had one of the highest divorce rates. I was spending most of my first and hardest years of marriage in a place that tore them down. That terrified me.

Well I’m past the one year mark now and I’m more in love with my husband now than I was when we first got married. We are surviving Fort Irwin. My husband along with many other soldiers leave for two weeks every month for training. Sometimes we get lucky and they are only out there for a short time and the work days are just longer instead. Other times, I won’t get to see my love except for a few hours out of that whole time.

The reason I’m have started this blog is because I have a lot of friends who ask me how I do it and other friends who think I should quit my whining because my husband isn’t deployed. This whole thing is an “experiences may vary”. What I go through is what I go through. I don’t feel it’s fair to undermine what I experience just because it’s different from you. So this is to help people understand how I deal with my husband being gone even if it’s for a short time for you.

Some things to know before I go; I have depression, severe anxiety, and I’m a very sensitive person. After a certain amount of time I get anxiety attacks when my husband is gone. It used to be worst and I’ve been working on it a lot. So my husband being gone may affect me differently than you.

Again these are my experiences and may differ from yours. I will start posting these every Wednesday from now on. I hope you enjoy.